for the road.

I’m sitting in a Corner Bakery near downtown Atlanta as I write this. It’s Saturday morning, and while it’s cool{ish} outside, it’s muggy and feels like it could {but should} rain any minute.

I forgot my umbrella, and I’m completely okay with that.
I don’t know how the women here do it, but I’ve given up on taming the mane.

I almost sat outside to people-watch, but the pigeons run rampant, and the onset of humidity is enough to drain what little energy I have. This makes me dread the summer so much, but it’s a good thing God knows me so much better than I know myself, because He knew moving down here when I did would be the perfect time to slowly transition into the Southern (nearly equatorial) weather at its finest. Instead of the usual, it’s been cool & rainy, much like the Pacific Northwest, my favorite part of the country, with lush, green coniferous trees and full-to-the-brim lakes everywhere you look. {I’ve kayaked twice now, thankyouverymuch.} And!! During the hottest part of summer, I’ll be up north in places like New Hampshire and up-state New York! He just knew…

I’m drinking an iced vanilla latte, fully unaware of my surroundings. Brooke Frasier and Alexi Murdoch are singing in my ears, and I’m reading a review/intro. of a book by Jack Kerouac about some adventurous, fictitious characters being on the road, coincidentally called “On The Road”.

The majority of this summer will consist of being on the road, so this book is befitting, & I think I should own it and scribble down my thoughts in it, don’t you? I never thought I’d have a job where I get to travel so much and talk to tons of people, but I do, and it’s hard to fathom what that will fully entail, especially for the introvert that I am {well, in terms of how I refuel: alone time}.

This book review says Kerouac was “committed to the aspirational elements of the story, even as the events that inspired those elements had either collapsed or been made to seem suddenly fragile again. He writes the “why” of the road, not the road itself.”

This made me think.
What am I currently doing that is helping me commit to writing a better story?

& so I asked God.
He answered: “You’re finally trusting me. And it’s good.”


It’s true that just in my moving to Georgia, I can see how the Lord brings His children full-circle. You see, this is the very place I accepted Him into my heart nearly 10 years ago, up in the mountains, a little north of where I’m living now.

I remember promises He spoke into me then, & promises He’s spoken since, all of which are graven on my heart. I’ll never forget them, because when I start to, He reminds me. I slowly see those promises being brought to light, and I’m on the verge of the prophetic coming to pass. I feel like a little kid on Christmas eve…losing sleep over the greatness to come.

It’s beautiful, the way He meets us in our longings and expectations and says,
Remember that promise I made you? You’re in the midst of it.

Yet, sometimes my heart collapses, and I become suddenly fragile again. Yes, there are tears & worries & anxiousness, oh my; those three notoriously hang out together, and I have to speak them off of me and out of my life on a daily basis in true authority.

Still, I’m learning how to trust in spite of my flesh.
And it’s refreshing.

Of course, I know there are things I need. I need a reliable car. {I’m proud to say I’ve only had one vehicle for the last 11 years, and I’d run it into the ground if I could}. I need people to join my support team and really buy into why I’m here, choosing the life of a missionary, only from a different angle. I need investors to help start up a business that’s currently in the works. I need a new cell-phone service provider so I can stop shouting, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOOOWW?!” as I galavant to the top of hills and hold my phone up-side-down out my car window to try to get better service. I need sustenance and more time to myself to read and vitamins and a solid community of people who I can be super real & ugly with.

But even as I share this with you, He already knows what I need.
Every last bit.

And He confronts me with my unnecessary wants and simply asks, “Really?“, not in a condemning way, but as a Husband who observes the credit card statement and sighs, because He knows his lady can do better.

So here’s what I’m tethered to right now:
What He promised is what He gave.

{Read that again, and preach it to yourself as often as you need to.}

And He’ll continue to give, even as I hit the road and meet people all over the place this summer. Even as I sweat buckets loading and unloading my work van and working 14 hour days. Even as I camp under the stars or on a stranger’s floor. He’ll give abundantly.

This is the road.

{to be continued…}


5 thoughts on “for the road.

  1. You’re an incredible writer and person 🙂 thanks for sharing your journey and I bless you as you go on this road 🙂 excited to hit the road with you, get a yeehaw with you in Texas soon!
    Love you!

  2. You are beautiful. Even when your community see the “ugly” stuff. Always beauty. He will continue to fulfilled his promises to you dearest. You will receive exactly what you need. Love you.

  3. Aww suz, I love this. I love that you’re here. And I love on the road! (…do you know they recently made it into a movie with Kristen Stewart?? I’ve been waiting for it to come to redbox – maybe we can watch it together!)


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