Reasons You Don’t Suck at Life {Part Two}

Like I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been living in the wake of a lot of crazy circumstances the past few weeks, and I’ve begun to believe that I absolutely suck at life.

Have you ever made gigantic, exciting life plans, and watched them crumble as some of your relationships crumble on the side?

Me too.

To combat these lies, I’ve decided to think about what is good and true, and place my belief in those things instead.

So here you have a couple of other reasons on my list of why you and me and the whole Oak Tree doesn’t suck:

3. You Were “Laid-off” From Your Job, and Aren’t Sure How to Bounce Back.

This one can feel extra tricky, because we all handle trials and curve-balls differently. Maybe you didn’t see it coming; maybe you were packed and ready. Maybe you have an entire family to provide for, or maybe it’s just you and your dog {or cat, for those of you who “prefer an animal who doesn’t make eye contact”}. Either way, being “let-go” can sting and cause ripple effects of bitterness and confusion. Even if you were told your severance was due to budget-cuts, you can’t help but wonder if it had even one smidgen to do with your performance {or apparent lack-there-of}. And then, OH THEN, you’re told to go market yourself, get back in the game, and beautify your resumé and cover letters, only to figure-out you’re under-qualified and don’t fit the bill for most jobs. This whole process can feel a lot like running on a hamster wheel, only to find yourself back where you began, restless and bludgeoned by society. But we don’t live like the Mayans and Aztecs and Egyptians, in a world where trade and barter-systems sustain the economy. No, the bottom line is we live within the effects of commerce, and therefore, we have to earn money through work to sustain ourselves. Throughout this humbling {and sometimes even humiliating} process, however, I’ve been hit up-side the head with the fact that it’s ultimately God who sustains us, and unless we submit to His greater plan and authority for our lives, we’ll just keep running in circles. I can’t tell you there’s a sure-fire way to go-about this, but there are many helpful tips and tricks that will contribute to your success; there are people who have gone before you who have words of wisdom to offer, and a whole slew of us who have been laid-off at some point or another, too. You don’t suck–work is how we spend 1/3 of our lives, and very few people have only ever had one job. It’s a rough process, so learn to be patient with yourself. {And in the meantime, I’d love to help you edit your resumé and clearly define your credentials and skill sets. Seriously. I’m a writer, an editor, and I love to help my people out, so just shoot me an email:}

hard work


4. Relationships Are Tough and Awkward and Take Effort.
I met some of my closest friends in college, people who called me into greatness and helped break down the walls I had erected around my fragile heart; since then, though, we’ve all moved in out and on with life, making roots all over. I then traveled the world for nearly a year with about forty people, and came face-to-face with my ugliness and their ugliness and all of the ugliness; my gosh, people can be ugly. But those people became family, challenging me and believing in me more than I ever thought possible. I even went on to work for a large missions organization, where I thought my colleagues would simply be maintained work-relationships and nothing more; but what’s blossomed in the last year has been an unexpected surprise of being surrounded by some of the most inspiring creative geniuses I know, people who have taught me the tricks of our trade, and who have given me deadlines to meet, all while getting to know my story and my past–you can’t say that about a lot of organizations, so to say I feel “blessed” is an understatement. But throughout the journey, friendships have faded a bit, and some have ceased to exist entirely. Some of us realized we believed entirely different things about life and love and people, and we simply couldn’t make the pieces fit. Others of us never confronted the big, fat elephant that was always in the room by seeking out resolve through difficult conversations. And even more recently, I’ve felt caught in the middle of a few friend “groups” that don’t quite see eye-to-eye, feeling like I should choose sides, because remaining neutral feels both dangerous and apathetic. Yet the more I press into the idea of community and what Jesus had to say about it in scripture, the more I’m learning He had twelve disciples for a reason–twelve main dudes to pour into and extract from. These were all people He chose on purpose, people He asked His Father about, and people He pursued whole-heartedly, but who also reciprocated His efforts. They fought with one another, ate meals together, they were enveloped in ministry together, and some even died together. Unlike Jesus, I so often try to compartmentalize my life rather than letting it flow organically. I try to force friendships that just aren’t, or I choose not to fight for the ones that are—because that is messy, and I don’t appreciate messy things. At the end of the day, we could all be better friends, and maybe we should compartmentalize certain friend-groups or commonalities. If we say we meant to call, but never call, our actions speak louder than our words. It’s challenging, and I never feel like I write enough letters to send via snail-mail, or allow myself to be a shoulder when people need to cry {again…the messy thing}; I even decline phone calls because I know the conversation that may ensue could be utterly exhausting. But I know I’m not alone in this, and neither are you. We don’t suck, we’re just human. Yet we’re made in Christ’s image, so day-by-day, hour-by-hour, as we set our minds on things above, our relationships will begin to look like things above, and the Heavenlies will come down and dwell in our midst, causing blinding reflections of love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness and self-control, which is the very kind of person {and friend, sister, and daughter} I aspire to be.

FRANCE-10126, France, 1989



So, please, take all of these thoughts and suggestions like a grain of salt, because I am in process just like you. But know you don’t suck, because praise God, you’re actually human and fallible and faulty. You’re imperfect, and you’re a mess, and I am too. Yet when we *“stop expecting people to be perfect, we can like them for who they are.” Apply that truth to yourself, and pick out the things you like {& LOVE!} Don’t forget entirely about the things that need work and edifying, but don’t dwell on them either.

What are some ways you’re working on doing you better, while not believing the lie that you are less-than?
Leave your comments below.


3 thoughts on “Reasons You Don’t Suck at Life {Part Two}

  1. I have been experiencing the same exact thing in regards to friendships. Oh my goodness it the most frustrating thing. I feel lost because I once had a great set of godly friends (more like family) and now that connection we once had has just about diminished completely (over petty things!). I know things and people change, just not easy to go through. But on a good note, thank you so much for this post – especially about Jesus and the 12 disciples, it was a much needed reminder.

    Praying for you! =)

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